Saturday, June 22, 2013

Who'da guessed

What does a girl do with FIVE DAYS in a chair with her knee above her heart?  Realize it's been 2 years too long since I've updated our blog!!

Turns out, quite a LOT has happened since I last wrote, July 2011.  You'da had to have paid me to believe that my next two years of life would have played out the way they have... :)

So, if you've got the time and are interested, sit back with a yummy beverage of choice and enjoy, as we relive the whirlwind that has been our last two years of life.

As much as I'd have liked these to be in order from oldest to newest, it just didn't happen this time, so jump around with me:)

Here I am corn-mazing it with C and the twins.  Hands FULL with 3 under three, I remember having such a happy heart this beautiful Sept 2011 fall day... feeling blessed!
 Missy Fall 2011
 E-Man fall 2011
 Miss Halloween 2011
 Happy First Bday Ethan and Moriah!! Fall 2011
 Moriah and me at Caleb's 3-year-old bday pty fall 2011
 Christmas 2011... singing happy birthday to Jesus :)
 Me and my sweet buddies Christmas 2011
 Family sledding Winter 2011
 Christmas Eve 2011

 Moriah and Dad Butterfly Kisses Dance February 2012

 February 2012... Ethan, Caleb and Moriah 
 Trip to Grand Canyon with my ma... November 2012


 Christmas 2011
 Christmas 2011
 Caleb Christmas 2011
 Ok, so, ...

 Here's how this went ...
"Dus, I don't feel well..."
"You think you're getting sick?"
"Ya, maybe..."
Next day... I realize I know this feeling... and I think i'm pregnant.  I don't say anything to D.  I don't take a test.  Fear...
One of my most vivid God-conversations ever followed that evening.  It went something like this (remember this was before I took a test):
"Heather, I know what I'm doing... My joy will be your strength."  Clear as day... words spoken straight to my heart.  My spirit filled in the rest.  Oh. My. Goodness, I thought... I'm seriously, pregnant.
Oh. My. Goodness.
Oh. My. Goodness.
My heart sank.  
I. Can't. Do. This. Again... I can't... 
That's how that went...

I came home and took a test (still said nothing to Dustin).   Negative.
PHEW!!! I'm so silly in my heart, I thought... geez, Heather!!

Went to sleep... feeling safe... but still nauseous.  Expecting to wake in a few hours puking, my alarm went off at 6, and I KNEW.  I rolled over in bed and said, "Dustin.  I'm pregnent."
"WHHHHAT?!?  Go in and take a test!"

+   
... the sign that changed everything.

My first reaction was remembering how my Jesus spoke to my heart the night before to prepare me... like i've done so many times before, knowing what the next 9 months would entail AGAIN (9 months of SICK), but this time with 3 kids under 3, not just 1, my heart, as it dropped through the floor in disappointment and fear,  gripped my Saviors hand... tight...

My husbands first reaction... not appropriate for a family blog... :)

(Sorry La, but this is really how it all payed out)

I got ready for work... feeling sick (physically) and in shock.  I'm not sure if I made any sense teaching fractions that day...  my mind raced... Oh. My. Goodness.  MORE KIDS, JESUS?  Remember, we don't get pregnant on our own?  ...like at. all.  I'm still nursing the twins... and haven't had a period yet... Pregnant?  HOW? 
Time passed.  We told family. I spent days throwing up... teaching, then laying on the couch sick, EXHAUSTED, sick, throwing up more while I watched my kids adjust to life with mom on the couch.  Laundry and dishes piled up.  My life was falling apart and I couldn't get up off the couch to stop it... my heart sunk even deeper.  
"Jesus, you messed up this time.  BIG TIME.  You got the wrong girl.  I can't do this!!!  Everything that's good in our life is falling apart... I can't hold it together.  You blessed us with 3 beautiful children after years of none, and now I can't even care for them, or hardly love or teach them... from the couch, head in the garbage can."

Sicker than I could remember being with even the twins, I visited our OB at 7 weeks who, gently said,
"Heather, I think we need to order up an ultrasound for you.  Your uterus is large.  I think you may be having twins again."

I cried.  Life was over.

I had to wait 7 days for the ultrasound.

Sick, waiting... I remembered what Jesus said a month earlier, before this storm even hit. Establishing His mark on this story... "Heather, I know what I'm doing.  My JOY will be your strength."  I spent time that evening in Jeremiah 29 and Nehemiah 8...  
I decided then and there that I was going to BELIEVE GOD, again, though my life felt like it was falling apart, I talked to my heart again and again.  
"He knows what he's doing."
"His JOY will be more than enough strength to get you through..."

Here's the pic taken a week later of just ONE baby! :)
 Week's passed... many of these pics to come (from Dec 2011 - Aug 2012), elicit nausea even now just looking at them.  It was a HARD 9 months... to say the least.
 E being E... taking diggers
C and his best buddy :)
 Twins snuggling Dadda :)
 August 2011
August 2011
 LOL...  C brought his bath ducky into bed with him one night :)
 July 2011
 July 2011
 July 2011 - Moriah
 July 2011
 More diggers: )
 Missy Aug 2011
 Summer 2011
 Summer 2011 Ethan
 Summer 2011 Moriah
 Sept 2011 Moriah
 Summer 2011 Ethan
 June 2012 MN visit
 Feb 2012
 Feb 2012
 Nov 2011... Ironman AZ

 Nov 2011  The twins at Momma's bball game :)
 December 2011... Baby #4 on the way
 Summer 2012 Missy :)
 February 2012  Moriah ready for Butterfly Kisses.  Momma 3 mo pregnant with Selah
 Christmas 2011 :)
 C December 2011
 Christmas 2011
 E Jan 2011
 Moriah :) Summer 2012
 Spring 2012
 Valentines day 2012


 Baby #4 growin...
 One of my most favorite pictures EVER.  Sweet Caleb really struggled during my pregnancy with Selah...  he took to this pink doll, and named it Selah...  they were inseparable... think it somehow helped him manage.
 The last few years have been musical chairs sleeping-arangement-wise with the kiddos.  From Ethan and moriah sharing a room, to moving ethan to selahs new room before she was born, to moving caleb to his own room, to moving ethan and moriah back together, to then moving ethan in with caleb, to moving caleb to the basement.  Why? you may ask... Looking back over each move, each move has had a distinct purpose... and honestly each purpose has been some form of - to get E as far away from other kids as possible.  E.
 May 2012... E took a digger... trip #1 to ER
 July 2012... E and his crib antics... even to this day, most nights when we come in to check on him before we go to sleep, he's unzipped, or naked, or undiapered... crazy man :)

Our blessings :)  July 2012
 Found out baby #4 was a girl March 31, 2012


 We drove... me 8 mo pregnant, 3 kids 3 and under, through the night to MN last summer.  We made it alive... barely.
Once there, it was a great trip!
Kids at Nana's pool
 
 Fishing :)
 7 months
 Summer fun at Benson's house 2012
 May 2012 Caleb's Preschool graduation
 Caleb and Dad playing Fireman Sam :)
 I enjoyed one of my most precious years of teaching yet last year teaching 6th grade math at Preston Middle School.  Here are some of my kiddos in May 2012.  Teaching during the day was the best possible therapy for pregnancy sickness... got my mind off of how miserable I felt... kids brought me Fireballs (candy) every day... seriously helped :)

 Missy Summer 2012
 Miss checking for Ethan's poos... summer 2012

 Caleb and his best buddy Owen at a Home Depot kids build morning. August 2012
 MN cousins :) June 2012
 Kids and Nana :)



August 10th finally arrived... my last ever day of pregnancy sickness.   
The day we would meet one of the greatest blessings of our life, 
Selah Joy 
 
See Facebook album for more Selah pictures:)




 D lovin on his kids :)
 August 2012
Every bit of 9 months pregnant
Handy Manny E Aug. 2012




Selah Joy came into this world, and has brought to our family what her name suggests... so much Joy.  In the midst of the whirlwind each day 4 kids 4 and under brings, I can't tell you how many times my heart pauses when my eyes connect with hers, and am reminded of the MANY great thing the Lord has done in our life.  Years of prayers and tears before the lord, pleading for children.  Then
BAM!!
Seriously... his hand provided.  Selah is a Hebrew word meaning to pause and reflect.
Even now, I pause, my heart fills with Joy, and I praise our good God for the gift of our sweet #4, Selah Joy.  I CANNOT imagine life without her.

"Heather, I know the plans I have for you.  My joy will be your strength"... you spoke that cold winter evening...
Yes Lord.  You do.  Always :).  You have carried us.  You have strengthened my weak body.  You have filled my heart with more Joy than I could have ever dreamed or imagined.

I'm reminded of one of my favorite worship songs... What can I say?  What can I do?  but offer this heart O Lord completely to you.

As many of us have, when you LIVE through God's hand doing in your life what you KNOW you could not have done on your own... the only response that can even come close to expressing to God in worship the gratitude and awe felt, is surrender... everything:). ... the most beautiful place on earth :)
 Selah Joy :)
 E and Miss  December 2012
 Welcome home from the hospital, Selah :)
 October 2012
 Missy Warrior Princess Summer 2012
 First familly of 6 hike to RMNP :)  Sept 2012







E lovin on La :) 
Our first family of 6 run.  Sept 2012

La 3 weeks



 October 2012

 C's first day of Preschool  August 2012
 Nana with La
 C's first day :)
La's first Horsetooth hike with me and C :)



August 2012... La on a hayride with the other 3 at The Farm ;)
 E October 2012
 La's Dedication in Estes Park
August 2012
 October 2012
 October 2012
 My potty trained 2 year old.  Missy March 2012
 Ethan and Moriah's 2nd Birthday :) October 28, 2012
 September 2012 RMNP hike
 October 2012
 Halloween 2012
 November 2012
 January 2013
 La January 2013
 january 2013
 February 2013
 Selah, Caleb, Ethan and Moriah with my Pumas
November 2012
 February 2nd, 2013... broke my hand playing AM pickup... 6 weeks in a cast made for some interesting diaper changing, butt wiping, dishes-doing moments :)
 November 2012: C's 3rd birthday
 February 2013

 Warrior-Dad: )
 E
 November 2012 Turkey Trot
 December 2012
 December 2012... La's first swim

 Complete :)
 La's first Christmas :)
Loved making cookies with the kids last winter :)


 Singing happy birthday to Jesus
December 2012
 Trip to Disney
December 2012

 Ethan an Moriah's first day of preschool
January 2013
 Winter in-door fun :)
 Have loved doing "school" with Caleb this year :)
 In-door trampoline fun with the kids :)
 Ethan and Moriah heading in to school :)
 Ice skating with the youngins for the first time :)


 DAD :)


 Fun snowshoe with good friends.  Jan 2013
Selah sitting up by herself for the first time :)  Jan 2013
Feb 2012
La, I see so much joy in those eyes of yours :)
 Butterfly kisses February 2013


 Our karate kid :)
 Valentines 2013
 Sleddin' fun  March 2013


 Amazing trip to Mexico with D.  March 2013

 La hangin' at Caleb's soccer practice
 Ethan and Moriah heading into school

 March 2013
 Miss on the phone :)
 Twins' first dentist visit.  Love you Dr. Sharla :)  March 2013


 March 2013
 Caleb and Sierra March 2013

 Mis and her Zips (lipstick)
 La's last sink bath.  Mar 2013

 La sportin' my baby kicks :)
 April 2013  Spring U5 Soccer :)


  Here we are March 2013 dying Easter Eggs with the Benson Family :)
 Moriah dying eggs with Dad, March 2013
 Easter 2013
 Summer 2013 :)
 
 Hikin'  March 2013
 Welcome ALICE MARIE!!  April 2013
 Beauty shop with Nana ;0)
 Early spring sleddin' with our dare devil, C :)


 Love you more and more every day D! :)
 Count 'em... 7! ;)

 Lovin on baby Alice :)
 Miss and her best buddy Woody :)  Spring 2013
 May 2013
 April 2013
 Mr. Ironman training in the snow :)

 May SNOW!! :) 2013
 Out for a gorgeous am run with La

 Explorin'
 Caleb getting his yellow belt :)  May 2013


 Happy Birthday Dadda!! May 2013

 Colorado Marathon 2013 :)
 Maybe my most favorite pic :)
Amanda and I have done life together all year.  Such a friend she is to put up with the chaos that comes with hanging out with 4 under 4.  In this pic, we're waiting out a hail storm in the van... :)  LOVE you Miss Amanda!!
 Twins going for a cruse on their Striders   May 2013

 Rub a dub dub, FOUR Campings in the tub!
 SPRING! :) 2013
 The kids pick me all kinds of flowers as we're out and about.  LOVE it! :)
 SO much fun being back on the bike this summer!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE!! :) 2013
 Post soccer DQ :)
 Missy in her BIG girl bed! :) April 2013
 Dadda dressing Miss for dance :)
 Moriah's first dance recital   May 2013



 School with C :)

 Out for a ride with my buddies :)

 More adventures :)

 SUCH a great soccer season! :)
 1, 2, 3, 4 :)
 May 2013
 May 2013

 May 2013



 Miss feeding baby Madison :)
:)

 Moriah's first hair cut :)  June 2013
 Helpin' Dad paint ;)

 Scrabble fun with C :)
 Miss and dance :)

Swim lessons June 2013
 Miss :)
 Piano lessons with Dad  June 2013
 Lowe's with my boys :)
 E sleeping naked again :)
 Hiking with my buddies :)






 Date with my Love

 More Hikin'  June 2013
 Rist Canyon with D... LOVE saddle time with my Love! :)

 June 2013
 More hikin June 2013




 Golfin with Dad June 2013

 S'mores :)
 Home from Meniscus knee surgery.  June 2013
 Summer fun with cousins  June 2013
So, who'da guessd?  It's possible that the LOOOONG 4 days of ice and elevation this knee required for healing ended up being a pretty special time reliving the beauty of the last 2 years.  Here's to monthly bloggin from here on out!! 

IF, you made it this far in this LOOOOOOONG entry, you must be my mom or dad.  LOVE YOU MOM AND DAD!  Thanks for readin' it all :)